I had to put the title of this post in quotes because, although Cajun and not French, I can almost hear my French instructor clawing her way out of her grave to put my eyes out for bad grammar.
Madame Zombie aside, I'm going to Mardi Gras this year. Now I have done my share of Jersey Shore fist-pumping but that was years ago. I am now a mature and somber 27 years old and have no time for such childish things. I spend my time reading non-fiction books written before 1945 and listening to NPR in my hybrid vehicle while driving to the local cafe to debate philosophy with my friends who are very serious business. None of that is actually true but in any case, I fully expect it to be a shitshow on an epic scale.
Upon doing some research I've discovered a few things about Mardi Gras that I'm questioning:
1. One must wear a costume. I've looked at pictures and come to the conclusion that, as a woman, "costume" means lingerie and a pair of ambiguous ears on a headband. All the costumes I could find were prefixed with "sexy:" "Sexy cop, "sexy rabbit," "sexy Gregorian monk." My idea of a great costume is to go as a box of wine. Will this work?
2. There is nowhere to pee. Let's just say I'm not too worried about this one as I've done archaeological fieldwork for months at a time. Ask any outdoor scientist and she will tell you she has peed everywhere. Including on a scorpion. That may or may not be personal experience.
3. There are better parties than in the French Quarter. LIKE WHERE??
All help would be appreciated. I'm new to fun.
